Last night, I went to my first indoor yoga class in two whole years. Among the warriors and the vinyasas, the instructor wove in spiritual teachings about how we’re all whole as individuals, but there are certain energies within us that are dormant. And the right people will awaken those parts of you that you thought were missing.
And I cried.
The past two years have really, really exhausted me. Sure, I’ve learned to live with it just as we all have, but part of that for me has been spending a lot of time working and hanging out at home—and a lot of time on screens. As an introvert, that’s my comfort zone.
Lately, though, I’ve been trying to figure out how much of that is how I really want to keep living my life and how much of it is based in fear, comfort, and simply forgetting how else to live.
I still don’t know, and it’s going to take some soul searching and experimentation for me to figure it out.
But one thing I have figured out is that I need people, and I need connection.
It started with a quarantine experience in early February that left me alone in my apartment for a full week, only able to see my people outdoors, through masks, with no touching. The uncertainty and lack of intimacy had me crying for no reason by day four.
Lately, I’ve also noticed myself feeling fuller and lighter when I’m talking about potential in-person community events coming up for work, spending extended amounts of time just hanging out and talking with friends, planning trips with other people, and being in the aforementioned yoga studio where I had a whole room full of strangers holding me accountable for actually doing the yoga and not closing my laptop 10 minutes in because I can.
These things may come with fear attached to them, but it’s worth it.
Yes, I am a whole person by myself, just as my yoga teacher preached—and let’s not forget how important it is to recognize and embrace that. But that awakening that happens when I’m having deep conversations with people I love or in a room full of humans also just trying to feel their best is the essence of life for me.
If that resonates with you, maybe it’s time to start changing things up, experimenting, and finding ways to bring connection back to the forefront of your life—in whatever forms make you feel the most alive.